English 379

For the next two weeks, I plan of focusing on my final project. I am a little worried about it honestly because my sources are giving me the run around. You really have to stay on top of people or they will forget about you. I hope that my project comes off well thought out and simply that it makes sense. So that is what I am really focused on. I want to bring awareness to the many people that are unemployed because it is really hard to find a job. This economy does not seem to be getting any better. I do not have any questions as far the rest of the semester. I just hope to do well on the final exam and the class overall.

Lily runs into her mother’s arms after a long day at school. “Don’t wrinkle your dress” her mother says as she puts her down. Lily’s dress is ivory, frilly and has an almond colored sash around the waste. The sleeves are short and have embroidery details around it. It falls to her knees  while a matching almond bow is hidden in her hair. “What happened today at school” her mother asked. “Well, we practiced siting and eating like a lady and worked on handwriting.”

“Good. Gladys will bring you a treat.” Gladys is in the kitchen preparing a snack for Lily. She is a middle age black woman with a plaid scarf around her head. She wears a plaid button down dress with lace around the collar. Her white apron is pressed to perfection, as she a holds a  silver tray with a bottle of Coca cola and three short glasses. “Good afternoon Miss Lily”she says. “Good afternoon Gladys.”

She pours two glasses of coca cola and  hands one to her mother. Lily waits for Gladys to hand her the glass. She is very thirsty and coca cola is her favorite. It is the best drink in the world and she can’t imagine anything that tastes better. “This is the last bottle Miss Fisher. I reckon we also need some eggs.” Gladys says. “Yes go to the market, turn up that radio a bit. ” The broadcaster talked  of trouble in Europe and alliances. It was all foreign to Gladys.

Gladys takes Lily after she finishes her glass to the market. After a short walk, they enter a small store where coco cola bottles are lined up against the wall. Gladys puts four in her basket and gives the cashier 20 cents. They walk down the road and enter a barn where a young black boy is laying on top of hay. “We need a basket Tim” Gladys tells him. Tim runs to the back and reappears with a crochet basket with 5 eggs placed neatly inside. Gladys hands him three coins as he glances at the Coca Cola bottles long fully. His sad face is on the mind of Lily as they head home. “That negro looked sad, I think he wanted some Coca Cola, Lily told her. “Yes, but we are not allowed. He knows that. Don’t you worry your pretty little head with such matters.” she assured her.

Mr. Man has decided that tax cuts be extended to the rich people, who have more money than I can ever dram of. I am not mad, angry or surprised. I am simply tired. I am tired of working 45 hours a week and not being compensated over time. I am tired of my boss overlooking me when promotions come around even though I have the most experience out of all his employees. I am tired of my children’s father bailing on my kids every other weekend and them not knowing their father. Where is my tax break? I have a mortgage and bills that will never stop coming. Bill collectors never stop calling, but why should they? They are at work.

Money makes the world go ’round. We all know and accept it. But I cant help to think how I became “underprivileged”. There is an imaginary line called privileged and somehow I have always been under it. I will never earn $250,000 a year. I have been working at this job for 15 years and I am way under $100,000. “The rich gets richer and the poorer gets poorer.” Ain’t that the truth.

Now that Mr. B is in charge what will our future hold? What will be the future of this country? Will there be a tax break for the whole country and not just the wealthy? I honestly don’t know, only time will tell. We will just have to wait and see, wont we?

Unfortunately, I have not made much progress in my final project. I have tried to reach out to a few people at the Unemployment Offices located on Jamaica Ave, but I have been put on hold or my phone calls have not been returned. I anticipated this so I am not deterred at all. I have visited a food pantry which is run by a Baptist church located on South Road, Jamaica Queens. I have talked to Elizabeth Wallace who runs the pantry and talked to a few helpers. The food id given out on Wednesday morning and Friday morning beginning at 7 a.m. It is really heartbreaking to see so many people on line( the line wrapped around the corner) many people with young children with them. Mrs. Wallace told me that some people have lost their jobs that come to pick up the canned goods that they provide. I plan on going back this week to gather comments from a few people who benefit from these services. I hope to really gain an insight on what being unemployed really is like when you have to feed your family and bills are piling up.

I also plan to interview a man that I met catching a cab on Saturday night. I will not mention his name but his story will be very beneficial to my project and can make you count your everyday blessings as you complain about the smallest things.

I apologize for being a woman in this time and place.

I apologize for going at a different pace.

I apologize for thinking my wants are my needs.

I apologize for wanting to be weak in the knees.

I apologize for wanting to be held at night.

I apologize for wanting a strong man in my life.

I apologize for wanting to be kissed just right.

I apologize for having dreams of being a good wife.

I’m so sorry that I want you to stay.

Tired of sending you on your way.

I’m sorry for not showing true feelings toward you.

I’m sorry you think I’m a b****, in my defense, you forced me too.

I apologize for wanting a man to rub my headache away.

I apologize for wanting to help you on your stressful days.

I apologize for thinking about what a future would be like for us.

I apologize for wanting someone to share my dreams with.

I apologize for wanting to be someones gift.

I just apologize for wanting to be with you.

I apologize for not wanting to be  baby mama #2

I’m so sorry for being a woman in this time and place.

One day I might land in a place where my needs and wants wont warrant an apology.

Ill find someone to want me: simply for being me.

But until then, I’m sorry.